Are you a hugger? Not any more. I spend a lot of my day motivating people to respect the one metre rule, dealing with issues related to the one metre rule, trying to read other people‘s computer screens from one metre away, and generally trying to remember the one metre rule myself. One mistimed cough sends people gasping and scurrying.

Plus, I‘m a hugger. It‘s hard. The french are kissers and hand-shakers. In fact, french workplaces have quite formal protocols about how one is supposed to greet people at work. I would be very wealthy if I had a euro for every time I got interrupted because someone arrived at work and needed to “bonjour” me and shake my hand or kiss me depending on how well they felt they knew me. Not any more.

This is the shattering of a cultural norm. People don’t know what to do with themselves except complain about le nouvel ordre. It’s a surreal feeling of being distant and disconnected despite being surrounded by 500 people each day at work. Having part of my day spent forcing people to move apart from each other. I should have been a nun at a convent school dance back in the day.

Try it. Try for a day to keep one metre away from the people around you. No hugging, no shaking hands, not even a backslap or a high five.

Well not really, but people can act like it. Today’s post is about things I wish I’d thought to do before being locked down. Like the fact that where I work is half an hour away from the nearest food store and has a subsidised canteen. Guess what? From today they are no longer accepting cash or eftpos cards where a pin is required. They don’t want your potentially unwashed grubby virus-laden hands where 100 other people are going to tap in a code too. Only sans contact (paywave). Guess who de-activated her sans contact on her card because she didn’t trust it?

Also, good to remember that measures are in place simply to slow the spread so as not to put pressure on the health system or put vulnerable people at risk. Not because suddenly we‘re all about to die a horrible death. The biggest drama is realising that you‘re going to have very limited supplies and services for the next few weeks or months because everything except pharmacies and food stores are shut. Restaurants, bars, pizza deliveries and fast food too. Online orders delivery currently delayed two weeks. There isn‘t a need to panic but there is a need to stock up on some basics.

What are these? Well, this is a virus. Viruses are spread through droplets on hands, coughing and sneezing. The health advice we are getting is that the best thing you can do is wash your hands after the loo (revolutionary, I know), before eating (ditto) and after blowing your nose (ditto + with a single use tissue that you then chuck out). The next best thing is to keep minimum 1m away from the next person and if you have to sneeze or cough, do it in your elbow. That‘s it.

So if I was going to stock up on something it wouldn‘t be loo paper (unless they‘ve run out of tissues) but SOAP. Lots and lots of soap. But don‘t be a selfish greedy arse about it and buy 50 so that no one else gets any. If you go through 50 in a month you need to talk to a trained professional. Hand sanitiser – well ok, but most are just anti bacterial. So you need an antiviral one (they exist) with 60% alcohol. I also spent my weekend making frozen meals. After all, you’ll still have electricity. Masks? No. Let the health professionals have them and the checkout operators at the supermarket. They can’t maintain 1m distance.

What did I not do? Here‘s my list: Things I wish I‘d stocked up on or done or advise you to do before the lockdown: