Realised I’ve been going about this all wrong. I don’t need to eat dhal and seeds to reset (thank God because that pistachio cream sponge looks amazing). I can just float through this lockdown on a higher plane of consciousness. After all, I have Deepak to help.

Let’s see. « If you send something out, then something will return to you ». Ok that means try not to cough and sneeze towards others.

« Money is my friend and the value of my investments is growing every day » Um, Deepak, we’re heading into a severe recession.

« I use my conscious intention to manifest my dreams ». Yes! This is more like it! I will manifest the lean musculature that I used to have by consciously intending it! No need to actually do it! Particularly because at my age I’m barely flexible enough to touch my knee let alone perform swiss ball yogic exercises.

Maybe I’m better to take inspiration from the cat. She still hasn’t quite forgiven me for the paraffin oil but she got the last laugh watching me stock up the freezer with several containers of dhal. But she is a yogic master and seems to be experiencing some form of enlightenment. That, or she got into the catnip.

With the fridge on the blink and no hot meals at work I’ve been eating way too many baguettes. My waistline is complaining. I decided to take myself in hand. After all, in NZ I was a gym bunny, kickboxer and kale smoothie drinker. Somehow in France my diet has switched to cheese, baguette, steak tartar, and full meals with butter and cream base. Plus those damn patisseries do the most delicious cream donuts and custard squares.

No. I am not going to focus on the existential angst that is daily COVID conversation and isolation. I am using this lockdown as an opportunity to reset. My apartment is so virtuously clean the Mother Mary would be impressed. I am on Day 7 of a Deepak Chopra abundance online meditation group where I am experiencing higher consciousness – well more often than before. Sort of.

Even the cat will be part of the new regime. So far she is not so enamoured with her teaspoon of paraffin oil on her meat to help her bowels. Nor does she like going for a walk on her lead with me. Of course I look like a total gimpwoddle walking a cat on a lead, but the frenchies just politely smile.

Anyhow today I thought I’d make gluten-free bread with 43 varieties of nuts and seeds. Plus muffins with grated beetroot, shaved tree bark and strained dandelion. It will be cleansing and energy giving.

Off to the supermarket and there were approximately 3 out of the 27 ingredients needed available. Not a chia seed in sight. No one was panic-buying them, they just didn’t exist. The best I could do was lentil and cauliflower to make dhal. The cat gave me a smug look, daring me to eat more dhal for my bowels.

Thank God the patisserie was open. I grabbed a baguette and a really sublime large macaron filled with fresh raspberries and cream. I congratulated myself for my fruit intake. Reminded myself that I also have all the ingredients for cinnamon scrolls. This is going to be a long lockdown.

Today France officially surpassed China in the number of (tested) Covid cases. We’re number 5 in the world behind Germany, Italy, Spain and the US, with 89000 cases, a whopping 7000 added just today. We had the most deaths today, beating out US with 1053 deaths to their 943. Of course the US is doing it better at #1 with over 300, 000 cases. Not that this is a competition.

It is actually reassuring to check out the stats on worldometers.info . This is what you’ll be told: There have been 1 193 776 cases in the world. 883 371 are still active of which 841305 (95%) are mild and the rest serious. Even though the hospitals are saturated it’s good to know the chances of needing them are low.

The biggest worry of today was how to get the fridge fixed in a lockdown. It has chosen the perfect moment to go on the blink just as I made a large pot of chakra-enhancing dhal. Fortunately the freezer still works, just not the fridge. If anyone knows of an online fridge-fixing business let me know. Otherwise I’ll be forced to eat chips.